Stemshul 101

At some point, early on in his life, Stemshul began forming certain rules which would later become unbendable. If you know him well, you most likely know, or are at least familiar with most of these rules. As of late, many of these rules have become quite troublesome to me...so I decided to make a list of them for all to see. In no particular order, Stemshul's rules are as follows:

• He cannot live anywhere that doesn't receive snow
• He will not wear a tie (unless it is mandatory and there is a promise of food and/or sex)
• He will never buy pants with a bigger waist size than the size he wore before we were married
• If you are in the restaurant industry and you slip up in any way while serving him, you must die
• Olives are evil
• He will not use "suitcase-like" luggage (only a single duffle-bag)
• Half-empty bags of chips must be combined (even if they are different brands)
• The fridge and cupboards will be kept in an orderly manner with all product labels facing forward
• He will not drink milk on or after the printed expiration date, however...
• If I want to buy more ice cream, I must finish the 3-year old, freezer-burnt half-gallon that's in there
• Craftsman and SONY are king
• My closet door and the bathroom cupboard door must remain shut when not in use AT ALL TIMES
• I may not purchase a clothing item for him unless it is $5 or less (or he really needs something for work or special event)
• SLEDS DO NOT BELONG IN THE GARAGE

I'm sure there are many more...if you think of any, please add them.