
Okay, so there are two posts I want to write about the game yesterday...one detailing how awesome it was...and one describing the ways in which I hate myself. I'll start with the latter which will only be interesting to me so you may proceed to the next post.
Why do I let stupid people and stupid remarks bother me? I never used to think of myself as a sheltered, anxious person but now I know that I am. I have high anxiety about new situations especially when they're out of my comfort zone. I think my biggest fear about these situations is that someone will take one look at me and tell me "You don't belong here." That's exactly what happened yesterday on our way to the game.
We arrived and parked with plenty of time to do a little tailgating. This is what I was most "worried" about because many people consider tailgating to be an artform and they get really into it. We did it successfully and we weren't even the worst one's at it. Some people around us just stood by their trunks and ate snacks from a grocery bag. We had a grill, we had chairs, we had beverages, in short, we were prepared. Feeling good about this experience and ready to watch some football up close and personal, we headed toward a free shuttle bus that would take us to the stadium. It was on this shuttle bus that the angering happened.
It was pretty crowded and we found three seats perpendicular to the backmost row of seats on the bus. In the backmost row were a couple with their infant, and I assume the father and little brother of one of the couple. All were clad in AZ gear, and most were drinking. Everyone was keeping pretty much to themselves when some frat boy yelled "Let's go Lions! Punch 'em in the mouth!" Woo hoos and screams erupted from several locations on the bus. I looked at Dave and Dan and we kind of smirked as Dan would also be cheering for the Lions and Dave and I were "cowardly Lions" in our Cardinals T-shirts. That was all good fun until the "Father" in the backmost row starts picking on me. He looks around and says "Hey, how 'bout some excitement? You're not even smiling! Aren't you happy to be going to this game?" Now first of all, if you want some excitement, why don't you show some yourself? Second of all, I hate it when people tell me I don't look "happy" enough. You don't know me! What the hell do you care. I'm terrible at dealing with these situations so I smiled and said, "Yeah! Thanks." Don't ask me what that was supposed to mean...but he left me alone. Until we had stopped and people started getting off that is. We were just about to stand up, I was almost free when he looks at me again and says, "Well c'mon, do you even like football?" Trying to ignore him I stood up. Then the frickin' little brother says, "Yeah, or did you just buy the T-shirt?" I got off the bus and said some pretty choice words to them...once they were out of earshot that is. You fucking belligerent fools! Who the hell are you to decide whether on not I like football and am excited for the game? Who the hell are you to pick on someone who's rooting for the same team you are, and minding their own business? Fucking snobs. I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had to get drunk, put on a skanky halter top, and act like an idiot to show my enthusiasm.
I obsessed about this for most of the game and got angrier and angrier. Everywhere I looked I failed to fit in. I like the way I am, I like not fitting in because I think most people are idiots. But what really pisses me off is when someone tells me that because I don't fit in, that because I don't fit their perception of how things should be, I don't belong. I paid just as much (and probably more because we had frickin' awesome seats) to come to this game as you did. I bought a Cardinals shirt to show some team spirit, and yes, as a matter of fact, I do like football...a lot! So you can take your stupid old man, drunk-ass, mean comments and shove 'em up your ass!