Je m'appelle Claude

I decided to come home "early" today...so I left at 4 p.m. It was good enough, although I just can't settle my brain. I'm like a bundle of nerves and worries. All I want is to do my job and do it well. Plus, is it too much to ask to have some time with my husband and the doggies? Lately it feels like no matter how much I do, how much I get done at school, how much I bring home, the worry and the anxiety do not go away. So why stay so late? Why bring so much home? I was trying to convince myself that at least I was getting caught up and there would be less to do next week...but it just keeps going. I keep thinking, if I feel this way already and last year at this point I wasn't even here, what will the rest of this year have in store for me?

I'm finding it really difficult to stay positive with the kids and with my coworkers. We're tired, and overworked, and underpaid, and sometimes, wouldn't ya know it, those darn kids just don't listen. It's like they don't care what we have to say, God forbid! All they care about is having fun...yes FUN...can you believe it! Here we're offering hours of worksheets and training for standardized tests and all they can think about is lunch, or kickball, or getting a drink! A drink!?!? What, do you live in a desert or something? And I'm getting upset over this?? Yes, I am...it sounds so silly now, but while I'm standing there in front of them it's all I can do to not yell out, "Sit down! Do your work! You should know this!" I have to work on finding my zen-like self.