Sometimes I wish I was a voyeur. I consider myself to be a bit of a snoop as it is. All I really need are the appropriate tools. You know, I would even settle for being a sound expert. I am so intrigued by my upstairs neighbor. I don't think you understand how confusing it can be to live below her. Usually it's just normal annoying sounds like bumpin' her bass, flushing the toilet, vacuuming, running the garbage disposal, etc. But sometimes there are indescribable noises that occur in rapid fire succession. Here are some of the things I imagine her doing:*furiously chopping vegetables, you know, iron-chef style
*tap-dancing
*triple axels in the living room
*stomping across the length of the apartment
*trying to loosen the lid on a jar of pickles by pounding it on the kitchen floor
*jazzercise
*hurtling dictionaries at the floor
*running in place in the kitchen
*pogo-stick jumping in the shower
...and that's just today. Now, I've never lived below myself before, but I can't imagine making that kind of noise on a daily basis. It's just...unfathomable.
5 comments:
Shedu and I decided that if we were ever to live in an apt again that it would only be on the top floor. I'd rather someone else had to listen to us and our crazy kids than have to put up with that kind of noise again.
You should leave strange gifts on her doorstep and then listen for the reaction (a jazzercise dvd, a jar of pickles, porn etc).
Hmmm...the porn is an interesting choice. I've tried to make the noises "clean" in my head, but sometimes these noises occur in the nighttime. Oh I really hope she's just trying to open a jar of pickles!
Ill open your pickles!
maybe she's playing with a wii?
I wonder how many dictionaries she has to throw.
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